Love One Another (my response to "I'm Christian, unless you're gay")

If you ask 10 people on the streets to define love, you'll likely get 10 different answers. It is no secret that love is uniquely felt. Personally, I see it in the stern pull of my mother's lips when she tells me to be home before curfew, to avoid driving tired. I see it in the mischievous twinkle in my father's eye after he's made a joke at my expense. It's present when I bare my soul (and, therein, my imperfections) to close friends without the fear of judgment. It can be seen in the selfless service of strangers, who work tirelessly at food banks or hospitals, constantly giving of themselves.

In this list alone, I have just scratched the surface of love within family, love among friends, and love of mere strangers, all in my own terms, of course (and this is by no means a comprehensive list). However, I am convinced that, whatever your definition of love, no matter the means or the capacity, beyond the implications of specific circumstances, there exists an over-arching definition. It exists in all the examples I gave, whether blatantly or hiding just beneath the surface. And it is this:

At our core, we all long for someone to be there for us, without strings, unconditionally, expecting us only and wholly as we are. This, in my humble opinion, is love.

Mind you, this is a pretty perfect love, an unconditional love. But we are, each of us, deserving of this love; it doesn't have to be "earned."

Because I am Christian, I turn to the Bible (bear with me if your beliefs differ). During his earthly ministry, Jesus taught: "Love one another; as I have loved you" (John 13:34). Jesus loved us (and loves us still) unconditionally; saint and sinner alike, he showed love to all. Now, even if you don't believe in Jesus Christ, you must still believe that a perfect love exists, somewhere. If we all inherently long for it, how can it simply not exist? So, whether we are following the example of Jesus Christ, or we are searching for the ultimate love, would it not make sense to show everyone love? To practice, as best we can, that perfect love that we all so desperately desire?

(Now is where I bring in the blog titled I'm Christian, unless you're gay. I provided a link in an earlier blog post, and I highly recommend you reading that before you continue this post. At any rate, it's far more eloquent.)

I am Mormon, a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Within the church, homosexual behavior is seen as a sin, as against the commandments of our Heavenly Father, Who desires for us every happiness. Marriage, as depicted in the scriptures (and held to be true by members of the church), is ordained of God for a man and woman, who will then go on to have children and raise them in a family unit, wherein they will be blessed with love of both their earthly and Heavenly parents. This is something I wholeheartedly believe in. However, this does not mean that a) I hate gay people, b) I think God hates gay people, or c) I think everyone should follow my beliefs even if they aren't Mormon.

Unconditional love, perfect love, the love that Jesus showed us during his earthly ministry and still does today, the love that Heavenly Father has for each of His creations... where, within the realms of this love, does the exclusion of "gays" fit in? Is there a clause I'm missing? A loophole? Did God forget to specify that homosexuality is the exception to the commandment "Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself" (Mark 12:31).

No. We are instructed to love all, and that is exactly what I strive to do.

However, God does not simply overlook the misdeeds of sinners. Overlooking flaws is not love, as it leaves part out; picking and choosing which pieces of a person to love is by no means unconditional. It is important to acknowledge flaws, and to help those we love overcome - but never judge them for - those flaws, for we are all imperfect (albeit with potential for perfection). When Jesus rebuked sinners, it was done out of love, just as when he blessed the righteous. His love remained unconditional in both circumstances, as his intention was always to help those he ministered find joy. Not to "put them in their place" or prove that he was far better than them for knowing the Way, but to help them, too, find the Way.

I'll admit, I struggle with the application of such a perfect love. If I follow the example of Jesus Christ, is it then my duty to inform all sinners (including gay people) that they are sinning in the eyes of God? If I leave them to their own beliefs, allow them to seek joy as they have always known it, am I a bad Christian? Am I depriving them of a greater joy they could never know if I don't speak up?

To answer this question (as best I can), I'll return to my definition of perfect love, as it is (purposefully) universal.

Love is being there for others, without strings, unconditionally, expecting them only as they are, wholly as they are.

Being Mormon, my idea of perfect love is affected. But not everyone adheres to my beliefs. And if I am to love others perfectly, I need to learn to be okay with the fact that not everyone has a relationship with God. Not everyone reads the Bible or the Book of Mormon, or even believes them to be books of heavenly inspiration. Not everyone believes homosexuality is a sin. And in spite of that, I choose to love. Unconditionally. Wholly.

That doesn't mean I'll hide the fact that I think homosexuality is a sin (after all, I want to be loved wholly, too). I would be more than willing to help a friend "overcome" such a sin. (I do not mean, here, that I think I can alter their sexual preference - I know that being gay is not a choice; the choice is, rather, acting upon those desires, which is where free will comes into play. I have just as much free will to act upon my every desire - to disobey commandments, if I so choose.) I would be more than willing to share the gospel with them and help them find what I believe to be pure happiness. But I'm certainly not going to wave my beliefs around as though it proves I'm better. That they're a sinner and I'm a saint.

And you know what else? If a gay friend of mine came up to me and told me that he or she was marrying someone of their same gender, and I knew that this person was happy, wholeheartedly and incandescently happy, I would be happy for them, too. Does this make me a bad Christian? Personally, I don't think so. Jesus Christ loved even those who didn't follow him; he loved everyone, despite their beliefs. I can't hold my friends accountable for my beliefs when it is clear they do not agree with them. Within their own set of beliefs, they are doing what brings them joy. Even if I see their decision as a sin, even if I think they are wrong, I will love them still. And I will join in their joy, because I love them. Because I will "be there for them," as a human being, unconditionally, expecting nothing more than who they are. And if who they are is gay, so be it.

I could go on with this discussion, in a million different directions. But I won't, because love is simple. It needs no lofty explanation, for it is humble. It requires no intellect, for it is not exclusive. I choose to love in spite of differences; not for recognition, not for fame, not for self-righteousness, but for the sole reason of loving, for seeing others happy, and sharing, as best I can, in their joy.

Let's all do our best to choose love in 2012. And don't forget to love yourself perfectly and wholly, just as you are.