I realized: I'm hurting.
It may just be today.
It may just be letting someone down because I couldn't bear to get out of bed.
It may just be loss of ignorance, of hearing monologues by real women about rape, about abuse, about feeling less than worthy of love, and feeling utterly small.
It may just be feeling unworthy of Love myself.
It may just be distance from home, from the reality of disease that is happening beyond my control.
It may just be the ache and fear and hopelessness of love, of holding on with everything, all the while knowing I may not be enough.
I realize this post is somewhat personal, and I was hesitant to post it. But I think it needs to be posted, because this is reality. We can't be happy all the time. Fear exists. Pain exists. And unfortunately, this feeling is more familiar to me than happiness (at least right now).
Blog to come: Finding strength through acknowledging pain and imperfections
have heart
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