Profession

I've always been of the opinion that the intangible trumps the tangible, that the moments beyond words and expression, the ones you can't quite grasp, are usually the best. Though we are constantly told through the media that we will be prettier if we buy this makeup, happier of we sip expensive champagne, more efficient if we have a smart phone, and more comfortable if we buy the newest model of such-and-such car, I just don't buy it (no pun intended). For me, beauty comes moreso from laughter, from authenticity and kindness. Kindness does something to the face, the eyes, that makeup never will. Happiness comes from and through service, through loving, among other intangible things. Efficiency comes through failing and trying again, through diligent trial and error that leads to the precision and the know-how to get a job done. And comfort... I've always found comfort in the smell of an old book, slobbery dog kisses, the sun-kissed warmth of summer.

As I was pondering this idea today, wondering how "the world" had fallen into materialistic, digital "happiness" when there is so much more out there, an old conversation I'd had with my mother popped into my head. It occurred right after I had received my diploma in the mail (and feigned calm as I patiently slit it open though my fingers were shaking like mad). I remember her congratulating me, telling me how proud she was, how my father must be proud of me, then staring at the diploma as though she couldn't believe her eyes. And then she said, "This must be the most expensive piece of paper I've ever seen." I laughed, the conversation ended shortly thereafter, and we went about our day.

The reason this conversation came back to me, with more significance and urgency than when it originally took place, is that education is the perfect example of the intangible happiness I seek. We (students; I still put myself in this category) pay tens--sometimes hundreds--of thousands of dollars, and what do receive? Tangibly, we receive a diploma. A single sheet of paper, with the autograph of the President of the college. Intangibly, there are the life lessons, the new ways of thinking, the appreciation of diversity, the professional connections, the friendships, the knowledge, the self-discovery, the pride and accomplishment and hard work.

And then I thought, maybe that's why I've never considered a "real" career. Businesses sell products. Restaurants sell products. Even working at a bookstore would ultimately mean selling a product, making a profit or I'm out of the job. And while there's nothing wrong with these jobs, and there are plenty of kind, creative, unique people in business and advertising and industry and certainly bookstores, I know I would never be happy in those jobs, in any job with a bottom line of selling a tangible product. I will only be happy in a job in which I provide the intangible, like an education. And by education, I mean the actual classrooms-lectures-exams teaching. I will never be one of the higher ups whose job is to think up advertising campaigns to get students and parents to pledge themselves and their money to (Insert Name Here) University. I'd rather get paid less knowing my duty is to teach. To inspire. To befriend and help and, in turn, be taught and inspired and befriended and helped by my students.

Again, I don't mean to belittle other professions. I only mean to express why I want to teach, and why nothing else (career-wise) has ever appealed to me. It is my hope that everyone will find a career, a life-path, a purpose that suits them as well as teaching suits me. I hope everyone will find their most authentic brand of happiness, one that lights such a fire in them that others can see it, too. That their mothers turn to them, as mine did recently, and say, "I know in my heart you're following the right path. I can absolutely see you as a ______ (in my case, professor)."